Category: Conversations


Here are a few very common jobs that you will find women do.

Waitress /bar work

Men often respond to these jobs by asking a series of dull and unimaginative questions, which consequently force the girl in to auto pilot mode, and as a result she does not emotionally or psychologically invest him, and eventually the interaction fizzles out quickly.

I firmly believe that ‘pattern breaking’ is one of the most powerful skills a man can possess in order to keep an interaction fresh and interesting, and it stops the woman giving ‘auto pilot’ responses.

Below is a list of what I call the ‘two option’ question that you can use to respond to one of the jobs that I listed above. The ‘two option’ question will force her out of auto pilot mode, and creates an instant boost to the interaction.


“ Are you one of those waitresses who is really rude and gets no tips? Or are you one of those lovely waitresses who gets all the tips and makes the other waitresses jealous?”

(what most guys ask: How long have you been doing that for?”)


“ Is teaching something that comes naturally to you, or do you find its not as easy as you thought, and that sometimes your patience feels tested?”

( What most guys ask: ” what do you teach?”


“ Are you totally alive and happiest when your are all made up and doing a photo shoot, or do you hate that part, and just do it for the bucks and end result?”

( what most guys ask: “Oh, what magazines have you been in/ are you a proper model?”)


“ Are you one of those dancers who uses it to explore self expression or are you a dancer who prefers to stick to dance routines and do the best you can within those routines?”

( what most guys ask: ” What type of dancing do you do?”


“ Are you one of those really hard working studious kind of students, you know the type who spends all their evenings revising and getting top marks, or are you one of those students who prefers the social life that being a student brings? Like going to the bars and using all that money that should have gone on books to have fun instead?”

( what most guys ask: ” What are you studying?”


“ Do you follow fashion religiously, and vogue is your bible, or are you more like Coco Chanel, someone who starts trends and is not influenced by current trends?”

( What most guys ask: ” Are you a fashion designer?”

These are tried and tested responses that I have given to lots of my students, and every time they use one of these responses the girl ALWAYS gives a positive reaction.
Women are sick of the inevitable and predictable list of questions that come after they say what they do for a living, and when a guy gives a unique response that they haven’t heard before, they instantly lock into the conversation.

Use detail when you give your 2 option questions, as this will make her think harder about her response, and she will give you more detail in return. You will come across as someone who is ACTUALLY interested in what she does and who she is, rather than just being like most guys who uses her response as just another stepping stone to ask her more irrelevant questions in the useless hope of stalling time.

The 2-option question, gives her a chance to explore how she feels about what she’s doing, and most importantly it forces her to focus on you and the interaction rather than losing the game to her short attention span.

The more you use the ‘2 option’ questions the more confident you will be in breaking patterns to whatever her response is.

The 10 hook lead system.

This system is by far the most popular request I get from my students. I want to share with you what the 10 hook lead system is (if you are yet unaware of it) why it works and how to get more information on it in the near future.
Let me start by revealing to you the 3 most common sticking points that my students come to me with. They are as follows:

Approach anxiety

Creating sexual escalation and/or getting out of the comfort or friend zone.

Running out of things to say!
Not Alone but Lonely

Running out of things to say, can actually translate to many other sticking points in regards to general conversation skills.
It can mean:

1: Not possessing the ability to avoid or stop awkward or uncomfortable silences.

2: Having dull and boring interactions with women he likes, even though he genuinely is NOT a dull and boring person with other people. (This of course can leave my students very frustrated!)

3: Subjecting the women to interrogation style questioning.

4: Failing to transition from the opening line in to a full blown conversation (failing to move the introduction stage on to the comfort stage)

Why does this happen?
There are a few reasons, but usually the most common one is because the man is outcome dependant, and consequently he is nervous. Nerves can make us all go BLANK, and when we go blank, we make stupid mistakes, which we kick ourselves over afterwards.

Another common reason is that a lot of my students are used to only talking to people in their social groups, and rely on meeting women via those social groups. This means they wait to meet women who might be sitting at their friends table in a pub /bar or club and therefore getting their attention through conversation can be done nice and slowly with zero time constraint, and of course all formal introductions will be made nice and smoothly too.

But in reality, men want to have the power to pick the woman whom they want rather than just rely on waiting for the RIGHT woman to join their social groups table or to be introduced to the RIGHT woman through a friend at a party.

Unfortunately, because they have gotten so used to the former method of meeting and talking to women, they now find themselves making one or more of the four mistakes I mentioned before when they approach a stranger.

The 10 hook lead system is a clear, practical and actually quite a fun way to have great conversations with women. It gives men the ability to transition the opener to a full-blown conversation effortlessly.
It serves to display the mans personality to the best of his ability, rather than change his personality or become someone he is not.

It can force even the most unresponsive of women to respond and it nails all those unwanted uncomfortable or awkward silences once and for all.

I developed this system three years ago, and each one of my students who have mastered the system now have zero problems in talking to ANY woman, whether its be in the street in the day time or in a crowded bar at night.

Why is it called the 10 hook lead system?

Simple. There are always 10 ways you can go with almost anything (hook) that she says. Having 10 options to go with makes it near impossible to ever run out of material.

The first step however is generating what I call a HIGH CALIBRE hook (useful hook) from her rather than a LOW CALIBRE hook. This makes the process a lot easier.

A high calibre hook can be many things; just a few would be MOVIES, JOBS, and HOBBIES. Where as a low calibre hook (useless hook) would be “YES” “NO” or NAMES. (that’s just a few from a long list)

i.e. if you ask a woman her name and she says “Sarah” then your options are limited in terms of where to go next. Where as using an opinion opener for instance that will generate a high calibre hook such as a MOVIE title, will result in giving you a whole 10 options to go with.

A lot of the time men get in to a frustrating cycle whereby they approach a woman in a bar, and ask her a set of questions that each lead NOWHWERE
“My names Gary, what’s your name?”
“Hi Christine, er so are you having a good night here?”
“Who are you here with?”
“Some friends”
“Cool, erm…do you come here often?”
“Cool, yeah its nice here…so..can I buy you a drink?”

Sound familiar? This is a classic case of a man generating useless hooks. She responds, he struggles to take the conversation further, in come the uncomfortable silences, woman gets bored of interrogation, man offers her drink in a desperate attempt to hold on to her attention, game over.

By the time he gets her to generate a high calibre hook such as asking what she does for a living, it is unfortunately too late! By then her first impression has set in, and her mind is fully concentrated on goin back to her girlfriends, or finding a polite way of ending the interaction.

Apart from the fact that he is only generating low calibre hooks, he is also constantly ending each answer with another and another non-related question.

Meanwhile the woman is getting bored, and quickly realising that she is not actually having a two-sided conversation.

She has no wish to ask him anything about himself, and definitely does not feel he is saying anything that will draw her away from having a great time with her friends.

How many times have I personally, been in this scenario with a man? Answer: Too many times!

In my next blog post, I will give you an example of just o ONE of the 10 hook leads that you can respond with. I will show you how just using one of the hook leads can open up the conversation and get her asking questions about you in return!

But first, you must understand, that it is up to you to generate the high calibre hooks from her in those very early stages in order to use the 10 hook lead system to its full power.

Approach anxiety is a very common sticking point that a lot of my students come to me with.

All my students who get to work with Mark J, find that their initial fear of approaching women is cured. Mark J used to suffer from approach anxiety himself, and so he knows exactly what the students are going through. His practical and fresh new techniques are incredible, and he will share these with the students in a patient and understanding manner.

In this video, Mark J touches on just a couple of ways guys can rid themselves from approaching anxiety.